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Thread: Boxing Day and Happy Birthday Andy (AKA) Fancy Pants

  1. #41
    randl's Avatar
    randl is offline Bonaire Lover SUPPORTING MEMBER - Bonaire Talker
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    Lurker? I'm not used to being in space with dudes wearing 'kinis or anything else. Putting thoughts together, feeling space woozy.
    '

  2. #42

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    Martin let go of Meryl's arm like it was on fire as they emerged from the ship. The reason being, that Cecil, the ship's dog, was eyeing him suspiciously. Cecil 'liked' (there has to be a better word?) only two of the 200 plus marooned earthlings present, on account of them being the only ones willing to delve into the ships mortuary freezer & return with 'lumps' of the three deceased crewmen for him to eat. His two friends were Meryl and Cynde. They were both happy to oblige Cecil. And to be honest, it wasn't much of a chore really, as the meat was frozen and already in Cecil manageable sized bits on account of it having been shredded by the anti gravity fans. In short neither of the girls had to get messy. Cecil was looking good on it and apart from Randl, was the only life form there to have gained weight since the crash (but that's another story). Oh, and the chatgnats looked to have put on a few grams.
    Let's dwell on Cecil a short while...He had the coat of an afghan, but was most likely the pick of the litter from an amorous Rottweiler and Wolfhound get together. Indeed, Cecil was a truly handsome beast, let down only by his head which was considerably over sized and resembled a coal bucket covered in dense brown fur. He had no discernible facial features other than his two bright red saucer like eyes. When they were closed it was a relief to all within 10 yards. When open it was prudent to pay attention... a man could lose a hand in the blink of one!
    Like Jean Luc, Cecil had spent many years in military service. There weren't many of earth's war zones that he'd left without distinction and a mouthful of leg, arm, or other such appendage.
    So now, one of his eyes was firmly fixed on Martin, who had already distanced himself from Meryl and was attempting, but failing, to walk nonchalantly past the dog. Meryl sank to the sand beside Cynde and the two of them began grooming the now 'eyes closed' and contented Cecil.
    Martin broke into a trot, with one had grasping the slack mankini behind his shoulder blades and the other pumping furiously by his side. He felt certain that the attention he was gathering from those he passed was of a good kind. Had to be, didn't it? After 200 yards and as many stares he was at Jean Luc's office. I use the term loosely for it was little more that a tarpaulin draped over a few stacked up provisions crates. Jean Luc still gazed into the distance, as he had since our story began. "What do you want?" enquired Jean with an unmistakably English Etonian accent. "I want your Bulldog clip!" panted Martin, releasing his grip on the mankini strap as if to add extra emphasis to his needs. Jean Luc was having none of it "F... off!" he replied. (to be continued)

    Seems a good time to pause. Besides, I need to establish where my boundaries are Moderator wise. Am I ok so far, Roy? :-)

    Apologies if I miss a day or two in the telling of the tale but I run two businessess here in Blighty and Christmas is a busy time for both. Here's a link to one of 'em www.spbrewery.co.uk The other is a cattery with 50 boarders at present. A strange pairing, I know, but I'm sure you'll understand that it's only possible to shovel cat poo for so long without a good drink!

  3. #43
    Little Ole Me's Avatar
    Little Ole Me is offline Bonaire Lover SUPPORTING MEMBER - Bonaire Talker
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    Randl, I was referring to Freddie as the lurker, and that is not a bad term ! Andy, very impressive so far, I wonder if Martin, Cynde and Cecil's ears are ringing yet! I think all the suds and the poo have built up over the years and unleashed a novel that may out 'doo' the last explosion!

  4. #44
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    Belated B'day Greetings Andy, or as I say it these days.... "Herzlicken Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag"


    Achhh as a fellow Brit with just the same wicked sense of homour, I'd say you lookin' good so far Andy.

    I'll have to link in the ol' Car thief & Kralendjyk threads here though, so the more newer members can find out a bit more of just how wicked it may get
    PRA & ET Inc
    Proof Readers Anonymous & Extreme Testers

  5. #45
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    Little Ole Me is offline Bonaire Lover SUPPORTING MEMBER - Bonaire Talker
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    I give a thumbs up as well, brought me back 'on board'

  6. #46

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    Well, thanks for that, Roy. I once hired a car from Hertz too. It was fine.

  7. #47

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    UNBELIEV.jpgDespite his aggressive response to Martin's request, Jean Luc found himself subconsciously hiding his bulldog clipped trouser leg behind the unclipped one. It wasn't going to help his leadership quest to be seen with one exposed lower leg, should he decide tp part with the clip. That said, there might be some useful bargaining to be done over this, and as many in star fleet would happily testify... despite having the legs of a six year old girl, Jean Luc had a well turned ankle and was not averse to cutting a rug with the best of them. (I hear the groans of one hundred or so 2003 vintage lurkers as it dawns on them which way the plot is heading)
    Martin fiddled nervously with the gusset of his mankini. He really wanted that clip. "I'll wrestle you for it!" he blurted. "But what's in it for me if I win?" came back Jean Luc, who had finally decided to look Martin in the eye."Nothing... you won't win!" responded Martin rather foolishly. "In that case I'd be bloody stupid to accept your challenge then, wouldn't I? Right, here's the deal...." came back Jean Luc "You get the bulldog clip. It's yours to keep. But in return, you become my Chief of Security & help me recruit the team I need to get us out of this god forsaken hell hole. You up for it?" Martin had little grey matter and what little he had needed little persuasion. But he felt he could maybe get a little more from the deal..."I get to wear an official hat? And of course, I'll be needing a badge. One that doesn't colour clash with this mankini, right?. A big one!" Jean Luc agreed, nodding his head sagely and struggling to prevent an ear to ear grin from breaking out.
    Someone less than happy with the deal though, was the tiara wearing dentist, George. He'd figured that a few mandibular blows could have seen him in the money again. He shook his head gently (didn't want the tiara falling) & sank his hands deep into his dungaree pockets. Life had been good to him until this ill fated space cruise. In his twenties and after a short, albeit successful career in the porn industry, George had decided to try his hand at dentistry. How hard could it be? He rented a minuscule office for consultations on Long Island (he planned to subcontract anything he felt was beyond his pliers and Milwaukee 1/2 inch drill capabilities) and set out looking for a customer. It didn't take long... propping up the doorway to the powder room at the North Fork Winery stood (well, almost) Freddie. She asked George's advice on whether she was entering the room or leaving it. He pushed her in and awaited her return. Thirty minutes or so later she emerged, her recently applied makeup glistening in the winery tasting room's bright lighting. "Hmm, red eyebrows and black lips. You're my kinda girl!" crooned George. His attentions weren't wasted and in less time than it took to down a bottle of Malbec, Freddie was hand in hand with George and had been persuaded that she needed a filling. Nine months later the bouncing young lad, Molar, was born. Some filling that had been, eh? (to be continued) george tiara.jpg
    Last edited by Freddie; 12-31-2019 at 06:23 AM. Reason: cause I CAN !!!

  8. #48
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    Default Well well well jean Luc returns ~!~

    have you been reading my diary Andrew ??? !!!!! and cat poo ??? who let the dogs out ????

    c'mon Freddie do I need to call you on the Landline


    Last edited by kilroy aka roy rayman; 12-31-2019 at 07:25 AM. Reason: 'cause I am the Ober Geek ;-)
    Freddie

  9. #49
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    Ow crap, not that boat ride again... I might have to schedule a new appointment at the shrink...
    Martin de Weger

    Twitter: mdeweger

  10. #50
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    Martin I believe we are on a space ship this time around. :0)

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